Don’t Judge, Just Read 3: TEST PLOT

Disclaimer: Ito po ay kathang – isip lamang. Please lang, wag na i-push na hugot ito. Makibasa ka nalang.

rainy-night-in-new-york-05 

1

“You’re the best I’ve ever had.”
Sinasabi ko ito habang pinipigilan ko ang pagpatak ng luha sa aking mga mata habang  dinadama ko ang huling yakap ko sa iyo. Pinapakiramdaman ko din ang pulso ng iyong katawan na nagngingitngit sa galit at pagkagulat, bawat pintig wari’y nanunumbat.
Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang maari kong sabihin upang tingnan mo lamang ang aking mga matang nagungusap at gustong – gustong sabihin sa iyo na mahal ka. Bakit dito tayo dinala ng pagkakataon? Bakit ganito tayo magtatapos?
Unti-unting pumatak ang tubig galing sa madilim na kalangitan. Bawat patak kasing lamig ng tinig mo na nanginginig dahil sa pagpigil sa pagtulo ng mga luha mong  pilit na nangingilid. Hanggang sa tuluyan ng bumuhos ang malakas na ulan nang pilit kang kumawala sa mahigpit kong yakap na ayaw kang bitiwan. Wala akong magawa kundi tingnan ka habang naglalakad palayo. Hindi ka na lumingon. Alam kong hindi ka na magbabalik.
Sinimulan ko na din humakbang palayo nang hindi ko na makita kahit na ang anino mo. Bawat hakbang sobrang bigat, sobrang hirap na halos ayaw umangat. Pakiramdam ko parang pudpod ng hiwa ang aking mga paa ngunit kailangan ko itong ilakad sa kalsadang puno ng asin. Tiniis ko naman hanggang sa nakasanayan ko na din. Hindi ako nagreklamo, hindi ako pumalag. Alam kong kailangan itong mangyari at kailangan kong malampasan. Iyon na ata ang pinakamahaba at pinakanakapanginginig na gabi na naranasan ko sa buhay ko – ang gabing iniwan mo ako.
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Don’t judge, just read 2

When you love someone, just let love do its thing. Don’t hesitate, don’t hold back. Time betrays, time snatches, so use your time giving the best kind of love you want and can give so in the end, regrets won’t come bugging you like crazy insects cutting through your skin and leaving ugly marks. Be kind, though, to yourself, not giving everything up and losing yourself and your mind. There still needs to be a certain kind of balance that has to be achieved even during the peak of the momentous love you’ve chosen to be in. Love hurts even while you’re loving, it’s not all pleasant just so you know.

Sacrifices must come in, just in time when the difficulty of consistency comes up, compromises at times, and silences during sorrow. All of the bliss partnered with the unpleasantries form that kind of a beautiful and unique stitch of story of which not everyone has the capacity to manage, creates more love than you can imagine, but you have to endure it. Love slows down at the right time and all what’s needed to be done has to be done before it dies. Yes, love dies, but the memories that have been banked lives on and so love can be relived and revived depending on what has been invested and created. Be receptive and appreciative so love wouldn’t be selfish.

Love when you must and when you can so in the end you don’t have to hold on to what has not been yours because you’ve not owned it in the first place and you have not been given the confirmation that it’s yours. Just like any other, do not leave for tomorrow what you can do today because every sunrise is a different sunrise, nothing stays the same, and it means dealing with a different situation the next day. Choose wisely and love unconditionally. Loving wouldn’t be wrong as long as you maintain, remain and regain harmony with yourself and nature.

Everyone has experienced that one love that is unprecedented. Love must continue to grow and so everyone should also give back that kind of love. Unfortunately, not all gives back unconditionally, most qualify love based on needs. These needs are most of the time selfish if not illogical and insensitive, so don’t get victimized by the wrong person and the wrong love at the wrong time. Love confuses and complicates, but it really does wonders. Time and love are bestfriends, you just have to have that perfect timing and a clear mind so everything gets set and be unfolded. Wait then give it a shot when the timing is right. Pray for it and you’re all good.

-mcncg