Dignified “X”: Day 1

Nothing is permanent. People come and go, so there’s no way you could hold on to anybody in this life. The saddest part is letting go of that person you’ve built your world around and you can’t find enough reasons to make that person stay eventhough you’ve given your best. Another sad part is that you’d need to compose yourself the soonest. You must not breakdown and not let other people know how devastated you are because you don’t want them to pity you or judge you, or catcall you. There are alot of thinking to do during this time and these are what I think one must do to remain dignified right after break – up.

 

  1. Be silent. You don’t have to let everybody know what you’re going through. Maintain your self – worth and self – respect by struggling to remain dignified at all cost. This is easier said than done, but with focus you can do it. While being silent, try to digest the last conversation or actuation you’ve had with each other. Do not force yourself to thinking about what have gone wrong but let the situation get down to your system.
  2. Pray. Talk to God first rather than your friends. Thank Him for the challenge and ask Him to bless you with courage so you can get through the very hurtful situation.
  3. Endure the pain. Give time to your self. Let your heart break. Let your tears fall when you are alone, but make sure that you hold your head up high once you step out of the room. Everytime you feel the pain, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can move on. Offer a little prayer to God asking him to take away the pain and make you stronger by the day.
  4. Learn to Unlearn. There are memories that are hard to forget. Songs, thoughts, food, places that you have shared with the other person that you can not avoid. But help yourself to unlearn the feeling that comes with those memories. Remember that you’ve been in those places, heard the same songs, tasted the same food, seen the same sights, even before you allowed that other person to share these things with you.
  5. Move forward.Yes it is hard, but you have to. Do not think negatively about the other person no matter how hurt you are. Remember that you may gauge if your love is/was true during this time. If you have truly loved, then you would not do or say anything that could destroy or stain the image of that person, instead, you’d keep silent and understand the situation, then slowly move on with dignity. Note that you don’t have to pretend nice or tell a lie to protect the other person, but to remain strong and wise at the same time.

Each person has his own way of dealing with this painful stage in life, but there will always be more than one reason to move forward and leave the past behind in exchange for a better, brighter, more colorful and meaningful life.

Too Emotional

It gets confusing sometimes when certain people get too concerned about you and your life then suddenly bend their statements and appear like they’re all just dealing about business, moreover emphasizes that you need to shape up and be professional. It wrecks the stability of someone who doesn’t want to enjoin in a certain “emotional support group” and being forced to it just so it could pave way for better interaction and understanding, but when things start to shake the ones who forced you to express your emotions will mock you for your reactions. I can’t even get into the bottom of my issues and here they are trying to make me feel supported and understood but recalls the faults I’ve made and all the help they gave. After they were able to get through my weakness and made me believe I could trust them, they humiliate me in front of others. Is this how you care and show your concern? Humiliate? I am no great person, I may not contribute significantly, but I deserve to keep my dignity.

Thanks for the experience and learning, but as much as I am paid well, I am not owned and I have not sold my self and my soul. I ain’t gonna give up, I’ll keep pushing, and I’ll be triumphant.

Secret Pains

1

When you try to hold back your tears but they eventually fall, and you try to hold your breath so the pain could stop briefly… You’re hurt, but you don’t want to talk about it. You don’t even want any body to know what you are going through. You laugh with so much power , but deep inside you are too lonely, you are breaking down.

When you are trying to think about the beautiful memories and suddenly you feel suffocated and you can’t breathe like you are under water… The more you think positive, the more you feel bad about your status. You become so confused, you are torn between holding on and letting go. You deny that you have been expecting and you are trying to feel content but can not win the battle. You are, in any other angle, on the losing end.

When you are feeling weak and you can not put your head up because you pity yourself because you have given more than enough and you are left with shattered feelings… This, thus becomes your turning point to dust yourself off and wipe the tears that never seem to end, but then you realize your courage is not enough to let you stand tall, again.

 

 

 

 

To the one who’s been left out

Dear Girlfriend,

There will always be someone better than you: more beautiful, more talented, more diligent, more popular, more amiable, more acceptable, more pleasant, more intelligent, more witty, funnier, sexier, hotter, and way more and beyond. But this isn’t enough reason to make you miserable. Remember that in other people’s judgement, you are the standard, if not the best, the ideal. You don’t have to dwell into making yourself feel important and loved by someone who sees another person the way you want to be seen. You’ve got your own style, personality, and characteristic that only you can pull off. Nobody can ever be like you and you can never be somebody else.

It hurts when you are trying to maintain the interest of your boyfriend but he keeps on looking for other things about you that are evident in other girls. He’s trying to make you someone else that he likes to be with. Be it your hairstyle, the color of your nails, your fashion sense, your perfume, your manner of speaking and reacting, and even your choices. He is trying to make you the complete version of his fantasies and requirements of a girlfriend. This is shitty. How dare you if you submit to this kind of relationship. You are not a doll, girlfriend.

Has he not managed to look proud and speak proud of you in front of other people especially his friends? Has he not tried to invite you over with his close buddies while the others bring their partners automatically, like they are part of their own bodies? Has he brought you once and the other guys seem not to have heard you even once and the other girls react like, “hey, where have you been all this time?” after they’ve known that you and your good boyfriend has been together for a couple of years already or more? Start thinking, especially when he seemed more into another girl in the group than you are. This is not jealousy, this is just but a logical way of managing your emotions and thinking straight ahead. Don’t be too nice not too submissive, this is not a passport to forever.

Has he not shown any interest in introducing you to his parents and other family members? Do you feel like you’re the only one who’s trying to work on a brilliant way to meet them and he looks annoyed if you’re starting to mention something like going out with his folks or at least joining them some time? Do not push yourself too much to the point of losing your value as a person. You are not a beggar, so you should keep your importance and should not go beyond what is being given to you. You are special and if your boyfriend doesn’t seem to care about these ideas, do not even insist.

If you are that important and loved, your boyfriend wouldn’t even think twice of doing everything for you and showing how you are wanted in his life. He might be very excited to be with you and go through an adventurous journey with you, but he might not be completely ready to let you into his world. In this case, think about your situation and the other opportunities that await. Do not spend your time waiting for the better treatment because it won’t come considering that you are not his priority and he’s not looking forward to his better life with you. Move forward, stronger and wiser. You gain more than you lose.